When I envisioned being a parent, I did not envision perfect kids, after all I am an elementary teacher, so I know better than to think that kids are perfect. I did envision myself reacting perfectly to every situation. If the kid didn't want to go to sleep, then I knew the best way to make them go down. If the kid did not want to eat veggies, then I knew the best way to hide them in other yummy food. When I envisioned being a parent there was no problem I could not tackle with grace and patience. Then reality hit.... There are so many things I do wrong as a parent. What I kick myself for is that I know that I am doing them wrong, but I still do it anyway. (Kind of like eating that second brownie or having that 3rd glass of wine.) So in order to get all of this off of my chest, I am airing all of my dirty laundry. Here is how I am failing, or for a more positive spin, still need to work on as a parent of two young boys.
* Connor watches way too much TV! Right now he is watching Jake and the NeverLand Pirates while I am typing this. Now, we are potty training and it is like 100 degrees outside, so we have tried to find stuff to do inside. Still, I hate how much TV and Wii that he plays. Garrett on the other hand will sit and play for hours and is not really interested in much TV. He does like to watch the theme song to the Mickey Mouse Club House, but that is about it. I guess I am batting 50/50 on this one.
* We have a horrible bedtime routine. Connor is a night owl. He would stay up until 11 or 11:30 if we would let him. One of us has to lay in his bed and fall asleep with him. Then in the middle of the night when he comes in, instead of marching him back to his bed we just pull him up beside us and let him sleep with us. I always envisioned the read two books, cuddle, give a kiss, and then say good night leaving the rest of the evening for some adult me time. This is not how our house is. Connor also likes to play games at bedtime, and I don't have the patience for it. Most of the time Jason has to put him to bed, because I get so frustrated with him. It has been this way since he got his big boy bed over a year ago. I keep thinking that he will grow out of it, but now I am afraid we could be sleeping with him until he goes off to college.
* I hate boy toys. Yes, I have two boys, but I hate boy toys. I can pride myself on building a pretty decent train track, but that is it. I really don't like all the big boy toys, Transformers, WWF guys, alien stuff, motorcycles, GI Joes, etc. The only thing to do with them is to beat each other up and make things explode. I don't understand swords, boxing, guns (Nerf or the water variety). Girl toys have a purpose and are nurturing. Girl toys teach life skills, cooking, hair styling, cleaning, etc. All boy toys do is to protect the nation from the evil Decepticons who have joined up the the Joker to plan a terrorist attack against GI Joe and his camp. Good thing that Mater has his trusty tow rope to lasso the Decepticons and bring them down before they can hatch their evil plot!
* The ONLY vegetable Connor will eat is corn on the cob. Garrett eats a good variety of vegetables for now, but I can't get Connor to eat any other veggie. Connor is even getting to the point now where he won't even try anything new. I tried to give him a Pop Tart at my sister-in-laws house and he would not touch it. He will only eat regular mac and cheese. He won't touch the Toy Story or Cars kind. Again, the hope is that he will grow out of it, but I am not doing anything to help him expand his horizons.
* I run out of patience... a lot of the time! As a teacher and a mother, I should be the picture of patience. I should never raise my voice or sigh (which Jason says that I do a lot!). I should know the best thing to say to make the situation better in a nice calm tone, but I don't. I continue to pray for more patience everyday. It really bothers me that I don't have any more than I do.
* I let Garrett cry it out. Sometimes I even turn the monitor down and just watch the lights for a while. I let Connor cry it out too, but I don't rush to Garrett's side as often as I probably should.
* If I can't handle watching what Connor is watching, I will go in the other room and turn on something else. There is only so much cartoons one woman can take.
OK. I feel much better now. I am sure there are many more items that I forgot to throw out there as well. I am not perfect, and I never will be. However, I do love my boys very much and will do anything to keep them safe and make them happy. I guess in the end if my boys know that they are loved every moment of everyday, then I am doing at least one thing right.
Newborn
